If I ve ever told u “I love you” and
you are
from calabar . Please forgive me,I was
drunk.
-Frm research:theres no animal on
earth dat
can be faster dan a lady who applies
makeup
and suddenly rain wanted to fall
-Onitsha babes are very funny, you
will meet
them in a taxi. You
pay taxi fare for them
and buy them Yoghurt then exchange
numbers, And you will watch them
save
your
name as TAXI YOGHURT.
-Someone updated: “Rape is not a sin,
it’s
just a surprise s-x”. I commented,
“may
your sisters & wife be surprised by
men”.
He blocked me.
Did I say anything bad?
-This is pure wickedness! how can i
beg my
neigbour for one cup
of garri and she told me dat her mum
counted it::::wetin dat
one mean?
-If u r fighting with an osha boy and
all of
a sudden he leaves the fight and start
running around shouting “Nna eeh!
Nna
eeh” flee before he complete third
nna eeh..
Don’t say I didn’t warn u.
-Boyfriend that cannot slap soldier for
his
girlfriend, is that one a boyfriend?
-First day she leaves her top and
towel
at your place, 2nd day she leaves
shoes
and jacket, 3rd day she leaves her
make
up kit. Congratulations my brother
you
now have a wife.
-At the # ATM after waiting for
2hours on
the
Queue, and finally is ur turn den u
realised u
r holding ur
Voter’s Card…
The # Witches in ur village will just
whisper
in
ur Ear… # Is_Our_Work oooO
-That awkward moment when the 5
Star
hotel attendant tells you a bottle of
coke is #1500. You’ll start explaining
and describing coke like “I mean
coke…
Not the alcoholic one oo. The mineral
type.. I mean the normal coke that
looks like
Pepsi…. The one Coca-Cola
produces”
-Bet9ja will break guys heart.
They will still forgive and play again
But your
woman do u
small thing, U tight your mind like
lucky dube dread. # Why?
-I don’t know why some people
would
just be making noise about their
hustle.
You hustle reach Judas? The Nigga
sold
Jesus Christ oh! Which hustle reach
that 1
abeg?
-Some # Girls are funny sha, you
know you
have # Big_Tommy and you will Wear
High
Waist Pants and Tucking your Shirts,
thereby making your shape look like
# Gotv
Remote…
-Your # Boyfriend is on Facebook
telling
other
# Girls he’s Single and you here
calling him
“Le Boo” “Le Boo.” You are “Le Fool.”
-If a # Yoruba_Guy , takes u Home to
meet
his # Parents and on getting there
they Tap,
him to come inside with them while
you are waiting alone in the Living
Room…
# Aunty_mi, just forget it, you have
lost a
Husband…
-Just b’cos of a Fine # Usher_Girl , u
dropped
all ur # Money in the # Ofering_Tray
… Now
u
are looking for Lift…
-Hahaha…. Orisirisi…. I just saw #
Aboki
doing Conductor @ Obalende He dey
shout
“Obuualeyyyndey obuualeyyyndeh”
-Seriously # Yahoo_Boys , should be
Celebrated, # Politicians take our #
Money go
# Overseas… # Yahoo_Boys bring it
back
Home GOD, bless every # Hustler out
there
-Even # Break-Up is not as Painful as
seeing
ur Neighbour having # Light when u
don’t
have… # Chaiii
-You want to be Taken Out every
Weekend…
My # Sister are you a # Dust_Bin ?
-So, you borrowed ₦100 from MTN to
Vote
for someone to win
₦25million in BBN?
Please, let us not argue this matter
too
much, Just give me
your Address, I want to come and
beat you
in
your house so
you can receive sense.
-When a # Girl says “Good Night”, she
says
Good Night to You only…
So don’t bother her if you, still see
her
Online..
-Some # Guys, don’t really know their
Girlfriend Face, because they are
dating
# Make_Up_Promoters …
-Abeg make una see me see wahala o.
“I attended a burial of my friend’s
grand
father yesterday but their tradition is
that, at
every burial ceremony, an old man
would come out and announce the
next
person to die, so the
old man said the first person to leave
the
burial ground will be the next to die…
I tell
you since yesterday we are still here
at
the burial ooh and I supposed to go
to work
today o….
-All you married women that will see
a pretty
lady standing
under a very hot sun and refuse to
give her
a
lift, don’t
worry, your husband is coming to pick
her…
-December 25th is around the corner,
and
Rice is still doing shakara…..
Beans, please we have realized our
mistakes….
Have your way in our lives….
-When your girlfriend Posts “Real
men are born in
March”, But you were born in October
My brother, I understand . E dey pain
but no
vex you never
reach your bus-stop….
-Chei! Just because I borrowed a pen
from a
cashier and forgot
to return it, I got home now and
received a
debit alert of
#70…..
First Bank! My God will fight for me
o!!!
-Teacher: I will ask a question and
whoever
gets it right I’ll give
my iPhone 6S. How many men did
Jesus
feed?
Felix: 5000 people ,
Teacher: Good, take the phone and
ask me a
question and if I
get it I’ll get my phone back… Felix:
Name
the 5000 people….Teacher fainted….
-When girls run out of cosmetics the
next
thing they will update
is….. “MAKE-UP FREE DAY, LOVING IT
ALL
NATURAL”.
And you think you are deceiving Me
Abi….?
-Borday: I heard u now work at the
bakery.?
Akpos: oh yes. I started last week.
Borday: but you have never brought
any
bread home.
Akpos: Your sister who works at the
airport,
has she brought
any aeroplane to the house? And even
you
who works at the mortuary, have you
brought
any dead body home before?
Please don’t put pressure on me…..
-The difference between BATHROOM
and BAFFROOM ……………..
In BATHROOM, one can take a cute
selfie.
But in BAFFROOM, hmmm
hmmmmm!
If your soap falls on the floor, just
forget it!
-Can someone please deposit money
into my
First Bank Account.
I want to know if my alert is still
working…..
-When a girl upload a beautiful
photo. Her
main boyfriend will
just like
and comment briefly such
like”Beautiful”or
“Cute”. But awon
ABELEJAYAN ( aspiring boyfriends)
will be
shouting
wow wow wow, wow like police siren..
-Some girls don’t go to the gym, but
look
physically fit because
of running from one man to
another….
-Dear Bae, if you want to cheat on
me,
please, do it with
someone I can beat…
Don’t hurt me twice

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